It’s Mental Illness Awareness Week and it’s no secret that we live in stressful times.
It’s also no secret that the same stress can affect our sex lives.1 In fact, studies have found that an estimated 19.1% of U.S. adults experience any anxiety disorder in a given year.2 That’s a lot of stress. And all too often its impact is felt directly where you want it least: your relationship(s).
However, many of us don’t fully understand how the mind and body work together to help men achieve an erection, let alone how stress can affect that function.
Let’s examine how it all works and take a look at a few tips for dealing with stress and getting your sex life back on track, even during anxious times.
Erectile Dysfunction And The Mind
It’s well established that erectile dysfunction (ED) can stem from physical causes, including high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, obesity, alcohol abuse and more. But studies suggest that quite often, ED is also heavily rooted in psychological issues.
In fact, clinical psychologists consistently describe ED as deeply intertwined with depression, performance anxiety, and chronic stress, and are rarely separable in clinical presentation. And research shows that chronic stress— whether from financial issues, work, relationship or health issues—can affect hormone systems and contribute to erectile difficulties.3
First Off, It’s Autonomic
Men learn at a young age (usually in embarrassing ways) that they don’t always have conscious control over their erections. An erection is the work of the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which means it’s an involuntary process that the brain controls. It’s the same type of function as getting goosebumps, sweating or blushing when you’re embarrassed. The penis does whatever it wants to do, and you’re just along for the ride. Or, as urologist Irwin Goldstein, MD says when it comes to erections
“The penis must be said to have its own mind”4
However, not only can men not consciously control it, but it also depends on which two autonomic nervous systems their body is using at the time.
Sympathetic vs Parasympathetic
On one side is the sympathetic nervous system (SNS). It’s responsible for fight-or-flight response, so when the brain perceives a threat, it tells the body to release adrenaline, increase blood flow to the brain and muscles, close sphincters, and dilate the pupils—all the while directing blood flow away from the genitals.
On the other is the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). It relaxes the body, (which is a must for a man to achieve an erection). It tells the muscles to relax, reduces the heart rate, and allows enhanced digestion and absorption of nutrients.
That’s why while doing a working group study of the central mechanisms in erectile dysfunction, the Boston University School of Medicine concluded that the sympathetic component tends to inhibit erections, whereas the parasympathetic system is one of several excitatory pathways.5 Or, in layman’s terms:
“When a guy is feeling anxious, his body is operating on the sympathetic nervous system, which tells his body not to want or have sex.”
That Anxiety Has Impacts
Once anxiety takes the wheel, clinical psychologists who treat men with ED describe it as a vicious cycle: a guy starts worrying about his performance, that worry puts his body into sympathetic mode, and sympathetic mode makes the very thing he's worried about more likely to happen.6 Then the next time gets harder, because now he's anxious about being anxious.
The upshot: this isn't a willpower problem, and it isn't "all in your head" in the dismissive sense. It's a nervous system doing exactly what it evolved to do, just at the wrong moment.
Desire Goes Down
Stress doesn't just make it harder to get going physically, it can also take the wanting away. Desire isn't just a mental switch; it's part of the same system that's busy routing blood away from where you want it when you're stressed.
In fact, a 2025 daily-life study tracked men and women over two weeks, checking in multiple times a day on how stressed they felt and how much they wanted sex at that moment. The pattern held for both: on the days (and even the hours) stress climbed, desire dropped right along with it.7
So if you've noticed you're just not that interested lately, that's not a character flaw or a sign something's wrong with your relationship. It's your body doing what bodies do under pressure.
So What Could You Do?
In order to gear your body toward the right state of mind for a healthy erection, many find addressing the anxiety directly a viable option. Here are five possible ways to get back to your parasympathetic system:
Therapy
Talking with someone about what’s stressing you out can help. Men are especially conditioned to bottle up stress and avoid sharing their emotions, and that can compound the issues they face. Erectile dysfunction and stress can have so many psychological factors—depression, anxiety, relationship problems and sleep issues, just to name a few. Spending time with a therapist could be a great first step.
Sex Therapy
Trained experts can help you shift your focus onto the sensations of sex rather than your stressors. Sex therapists often teach and use exercises that help you stay attentive to the pleasures of sex rather than thinking about your performance. When a partner is involved in the sessions, sex therapy is successful in roughly 69% of cases for couples dealing with erectile dysfunction.8
Meditation
Meditation is gaining mainstream respect as a valuable tool in dealing with a wide variety of mental health issues. Studies have directly shown that meditation can help men with erectile dysfunction by teaching them how to center their minds and relax their breathing and body.
Deep Breathing
On a related note, deep breathing can significantly reduce physical tension and mental stress. Various studies show that mindful deep breathing can measurably reduce stress, as evidenced in lowered heart rate and cortisol levels.9
Exercise
Regular exercise also has a measurable, ongoing effect on reducing stress.10 Even as little as five minutes of aerobic exercise can begin amplifying the anti-anxiety effects of endorphin release and more, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.11
The Bottom Line
While you may not have direct control over your erections, you can exert some control over your stress and anxiety. Learning how to do that can go a long way in the bedroom.
This article is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for personalized medical advice.
1Hedon F. Anxiety and erectile dysfunction: a global approach to ED enhances results and quality of life. Int J Impot Res. 2003 Apr;15 Suppl 2:S16-9. doi: 10.1038/sj.ijir.3900994. PMID: 12825100.
2Kessler RC, Chiu WT, Demler O, Merikangas KR, Walters EE. Prevalence, severity, and comorbidity of 12-month DSM-IV disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2005;62(6):617-627.
3Anselimus SM, Cosmas VJ. Is it erectile dysfunction or a mental-health challenge? Insights from psychologists. Am J Mens Health. PMID: 41747708.
4Goldstein I and the Working Group. Male Sexual Circuitry. Scientific American. August 2000;283(2):70–75.
5Steers WD, et al. The Central Mechanisms of Sexual Function. Boston University School of Medicine, Working Group for the Study of Central Mechanisms in Erectile Dysfunction.
6Allen MS, Wood AM, Sheffield D. The psychology of erectile dysfunction. Curr Dir Psychol Sci. 2023;32(6):487-493.
7Mües HM, Markert C, Feneberg AC, Nater UM. Too stressed for sex? Associations between stress and sex in daily life. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2025;181:107583.
8Hawton K, Catalan J. Sex therapy for erectile dysfunction: characteristics of couples, treatment outcome, and prognostic factors. Arch Sex Behav. 1992;21(2):161-175.
9Perciavalle V, Blandini M, Fecarotta P, Buscemi A, Di Corrado D, Bertolo L, Fichera F, Coco M. The role of deep breathing on stress. Neurol Sci. 2017 Mar;38(3):451-458. doi: 10.1007/s10072-016-2790-8. Epub 2016 Dec 19. PMID: 27995346.
10Wipfli BM, Rethorst CD, Landers DM. The anxiolytic effects of exercise: a meta-analysis of randomized trials and dose-response analysis. J Sport Exerc Psychol. 2008 Aug;30(4):392-410. doi: 10.1123/jsep.30.4.392-410. Erratum in: J Sport Exerc Psychol. 2009 Feb;31(1):128-9. PMID: 18723899.
11Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Exercise for stress and anxiety. ADAA. Updated August 4, 2026. Accessed October 1, 2026. https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/managing-anxiety/exercise-stress-and-anxiety
